Dear Comic readers
by IPreferParakarry-Zackovic
Summary: A really long, angry, uncensored rant at a bunch of people who used to follow me when I was a comic artist.
1. Intro

**Why I left Comics**

**Intro:**  
**Hello FFN, Zackovic here. For those of you who might not know what this is about, I used to be an intense comic artist, largely based on parodies and gags. A lot of people used to like them, but then during the summer I made a switch to writing and slacked off on comics, thinking I'd eventually go back to it, and I definitely paid for it. I got so many flames just over the weekend, I can't even think straight. It pissed me off that so many people didn't respect my decisions to convert to writing and to take a break from comics. I really hated finding out that so many people only liked me for my comics, because it's the ONE thing that comes up on the list of things I hate: People who like you for what you have, not who you are.**

**Anyways, this next segment is a reply to those comic-moochers, it's going to be a really long rant, and I'm going no-holds-back, completely uncensored. And since FFN doesn't allow self-insert, I'm going to _BEND THE RULES_ and insert my Koopa Avatar, Koopanada. Imagine him as a Koopa with a red shell, red T-shirt labelled: Awesome, jeans, red sneakers and a pair of white glasses.**

**With this out of the way, let's just get on with this.**


	2. Legit Reasons

Koopanada flicked on a video camera and sat down in his chair next to his desk, which had his laptop computer and a few papers and books stacked on it. The walls were painted blue above his head.

"Hey everybody, Koopanada here..." He began, but was quickly cut off by the sounds of a very angry crowd, yelling and complaining all at once. Koopanada clenched his head with both hands and tried to cut off the noises, gritting his teeth. Voices rose and screamed at him, some were actually audible.

"Where the **fuck** have you been?!" One said.

"When's the new comic coming out?"

"Can you do a guest starring on my totally original comic that I'll never even start on?"

"If you don't make new comics I'm totally going to kick you out of my group!"

Koopanada tried to scream, but no sound could be heard over the screaming crowd of voices. He smashed his face against his table, clenching his head. The screams continued.

"You suck!"

"Your comic series is totally going to end up like..."

Another Koopa burst through the door and aimed a massive rocket launcher at the camera. "**SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UP!** He shouted menacingly.

The camera's screen went into static, then cut off.

**Error 404, Camera not found.**

The camera restarted and Koopanada let out a massive sigh of relief. "Thanks, Hermann." He then got up and sat up formally on his chair, clearing his throat. "So yeah, as I was about to say, yes, I apologize for pretty much disappearing off the face of the comic world for the last few months." He raised up his hands. "_For legit reasons_!" He started counting his fingers. "I've cracked down on school, important stuff with family, _extreme_ laziness, the fact that I needed new glasses." The camera cut scenes. "No seriously, the last pair started peeling and flaking, it was horrible, I couldn't even see out of them." The camera cut back to the main recording. "And a bunch of other reasons I'm absolutley sure none of you will care about because this isn't a new comic strip."

The camera cut scenes again, this time showing Koopanada with skeletal hands. "What the **fuck** happened to my hands?!" He shouted in false horror.

**Back on the main scene...**

"But I thought I might at least update you guys over what's been happening as well as future plans." He cut scenes again. "So sit down, shut the fuck up, and allow me to explain..." He turned over to his side. "...**WILL YOU STOP DOING SIT-UPS?!**"

"**NO!**" Another Koopa with paler skin and a blue shell yelled back at him, continuing to do sit ups.


	3. School and Hiatus

Koopanada coughed. "So anyway, I think one think that's definitely been getting in the way of drawing comics is my seriousness with my education. But hey, what do you expect, guys? It's school!" He grabbed the camera and shook it. "**IT'S SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!**" The sounds of school bells ringing vaguely in the background. He then sat down. "And to be completely honest with you guys for a minute," He confessed. "I've reached that stage in my life again when I want to expand on my different capabilities to see what I'm good and not good at. Because I do enjoy doing a lot of other stuff, not just comics. I ain't a robot, after all." He sighed and took a breath. "So I'm going to take a temporary hiatus from comic writing for a while."

An annoying guy popped in and and pointed at Koopanada accusingly, surprising him. "But you've been on a hiatus for months while you left us in the dark!" He complained.

Koopanada scowled. "Well, hey, I'm telling you now aren't I? Better late than never?!" The annoying guy disappeared and was replaced by a sign that read: _Friendless sucker_. Koopanada growled. "And just like that, I lost all my friends." He swore and facepalmed. "Son of a bitch.** ARE COMICS ALL THAT** **MATTER TO YOU PEOPLE?!** Seriously?!" He yelled into the camera.


	4. Music and Writing

"But seriously, I'm am taking interest in a lot of other things." Koopanada said, pulling up a guitar. "Like music!" Koopanada struck a power chord. "Especially Rap and Rock. So for a while I've been delving into my own lyrical abilities and writing some songs and raps to, you know, see if I'm good at it or not."  
"But it's not just music that's been interesting me. I've been getting very serious about writing and I really want to move forward with it." The camera cut scenes, showing Koopanada gritting a shoelace between his teeth and shaking it back and forth very rapidly. The scene cut back again. "In fact, over the last few months I've been taking classes and workshops and one-on-one sessions with friends and family, and taken every oppritunity I've had to the fullest extent. I've gone back and forth with my friends about them, and they've said that if I would get it published it would be good enough to compete with the likes of Rick Riordan, Anthony Horowitz and J.K Rowling." Koopanada grinned mockingly. "Jealous?" The camera cut scenes, showing Koopanada stick his tongue and his middle fingers at the camera. The camera cut back again. "So yeah, my seriousness with wiritng is one thing that's been keeping me away from comics for a while."

The camera cut again, showing Koopanada wearing a giant fur hat. "Do you like this epic Russian imitation?" He said with a perfect Russian accent.

"Oh, and there's this other thing I've been doing for a while now." Koopanada said, pointing upwards. After a few silent moments and a curious look to the side, he pointed at himself with both hands."I'm a **FUCKING** Koopa!" The camera flashed to a poster of Bowser saying: '_Join The Army_' with a small note underneath reading '_Resistance Is Futile_'.

"Yes!" Koopanada said cheerfully, his laptop now open to the FanFiction homepage. "As of, I believe..." He looked at his watch. "May? August? I'm now officially a member of FanFiction. Which is where this is being posted."

The annoying guy from the last chapter popped in again. "But in your last comic you said you weren't!" He pointed.

Koopanada was not amused. "Obviously you were not aware of this." He said, pointing at a picture on his desk, which was a Koopa at one of Bowser's rock concerts, captioned: '_Proud to be a Koopa_.' He then took out a laser gun and blasted the annoying guy to ashes.


	5. FanFics and Twitter

"So yeah, I've had this FanFiction account fully active since July, and I'll soon form a YouTube channel just for my stuff." Koopnada said. "Like songs, some FanFic readings, maybe some FanDubs, who knows?" He took a deep breath. "And speaking of FanFics!" He said, pointing at his laptop. "Another thing I've been doing is taking part in a series that's going to be started by my mate Koopakevic, called The TZ reviews." He spread his hands, and pulled out a small banner reading _'TZ Reviews'_.

"Yeah you guys might know Kevic, that dude who wrote all those shitty X-Overs and stuff like that back in 2010 all thanks to that Merixis faggot, remember?" Koopanada shrugged. "Neither do I." He pulled out a sock puppet and stated moving it's mouth open and shut while he laughed hysterically. "But he's back apparently," He said, talking normally again. "And doing a series where me, him, and a few other peeps take a look at some of the coolest, funniest, scariest and the downright weirdest stuff out there." He clapped his hands once. "So got out there, show him some love," He shaped his fingers in a heart shape. "get your story reviewed eventually, read his stuff, Review, Follow, Favorite, _SWAG_!"

The camera cut scenes. "But there's still more!" He said, pointing again.

"I also cracked down and got myself one of those T things." He scratched his chin. "What are they called?" He snapped his fingers. "Oh yeah! Titties! And I am not taking off this shell to prove it." He clicked a button on his laptop, opening the Twitter homepage. "So if you have anything to ask, drop me a line! Just please leave anything about comics, World Problems or Sonic The Hedgehog separate." He pulled on the sides of his face and screamed mournfully.


	6. Recap

"Don't get me wrong, I still have plans for future comics." Koopanada said, raising his hands. "Such as a new season, and the still-possibly-dead-that-might-need-a-complete-script-do-over full-length graphic novel." He facepalmed, them started muttering. "I never should have drawn the trailer before I actually started working on the script." He sighed and faced the camera. "Honestly, it's not as fun as it used to be. But I will continue to do other things, because I live to stand out loud and please the crowd, no matter what I do." He pulled out a massive bag that had My Little Pony and Mario characters on it. "This is a _BIG_, **Fucking**, bag!" He shouted happily. He then cleared his throat and became serious again. "So just to recap, taking a hiatus from comics," He reminded, counting his fingers. "Working hard on writing, New YouTube channel soon, follow Kevic, Titties page, and I'm not dead, I just have a life. It's combination of busy and lazy." He waved his hands. "There! Are you happy, you impatient **fuckers**?!" He yelled at the camera.

**End.**

**I am paid by my school's committee to elect crazy people.**


End file.
